Maybe I do need uncertainty after all

Remember how, not so long ago, I was craving for some stability and predictability in my life? How I was so tired and drained of being unsettled? Sure, I still made the best of all that uncertainty that shadowed me throughout most of 2013, but the truth is I was pretty happy to suddenly have figured myself out.

Or did I?

Playa Papagayo, Lanzarote, Canary Islands (Spain)

Now that I’m on a slightly more stable position than a year ago (I guess anything is more stable than an unpaid work experience with no future employment opportunity), I find my mind wandering off into spontaneous decisions to bring in some adrenalin and excitement. This makes me realize that, as much as I want to fight it, I’m just not cut out for routine.

Torres del Paine, Chile

While I thought I was kind of settling down – Subconsciously, I’ve been taking decisions that would break my daily predictability:

  • I joined a profession in which I might be pulled into 2 weeks travel on a super short notice (like 3 days notice!).
  • I’ve moved to a flat on a rolling short-term let agreement, which allows much easier (and quicker) moves across the city.
  • My weekends are as spontaneous as my wallet allows them to be.

All those months I thought I just couldn’t deal with another day of insecurity and instability, and now I come to believe that this unpredictability, freedom and change are precisely what fuels my energy and motivation – and my gut already knew about it all this time!

Sailing in the Canary Islands, Spain

Maybe I do need some uncertainty after all.

8 thoughts on “Maybe I do need uncertainty after all

  1. You perfectly expressed what I’ve been feeling lately! I was accepted to grad school last year but pushed it off for one last year of traveling, and now this year I think I’ve decided to put it off again for another year of travel. Maybe this nomadic lifestyle isn’t just ‘time off’ like I think? So much uncertainty, but I think I like it that way.

  2. Wow, you put exactly what I’m feeling right now into words! The past few months I’ve been struggling with the constant uncertainty of living abroad, but then every time I think about moving back to California, there’s a little tug that makes me think twice.

    And every time I have a super busy weekend full of travel and new experiences, I feel energized and excited again. Maybe it’s a sign I need the instability too!

  3. I know EXACTLY how you feel! I’m always dancing on the line between my desire for stability AND uncertainty. My life seems like a constant pendulum swing between the two. But just keep exploring options and someday we will find just the right combination of being able to pay our rent as well as have the freedom to travel the world! 😉

  4. Living a routine life isn’t for everyone, I know it’s not for me. I think it makes life more interesting not knowing what’s going to happen. It always makes for some great stories

  5. Man I feel you! Every day I sit at work and dream about traveling. I try to be thankful that my job allows me the funds to travel across the world. So I often think, if I quit, how would I travel? It’s a very tough back and forth on your mental, on mine anyway. I want that exciting life that you can only read about. I want to live it. I want to FEEL it.

    Until I can fully break away (and find someone to keep my cat for a year) I suffer 8-5 M-F and LIVE in between.

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